Dear Gochi,
I saw two pieces of magnet the other day. They were sitting at the opposite sides of a table. I happened to be giving a session to a group of teens. We were supposed to discuss communication skills. My job is to make sure that all students are present during the conversation. (Not just with their body but also with their minds.)
Everyone was into the conversation but two of the participants were looking at each other in a very different way. In a way when pain of leaving each other is greater than you expected. They wondered about the alternative version of their “couple story”. Would it work differently if they did things differently or it would end up in the same spot. Just like it does with all karmic endings.
Tolstoy says that one needs to leave or arrive at a city in order to create a compelling story. But I notice that one girl and one boy is all it takes to create a masterpiece. Central idea of a boy and girl story is that they both are two different pieces of the same magnet. If you misplace them, they will run away from each other. But if you position them properly, they will be glued to each other. Just like any reader who will discover their story.
I happened to be a writer who discovered these two swans enjoying their common pain of breaking up. Although, it was a strange way to break up. She was perfectly fine with him being in her territory. He was fine with the fact that she existed without him. Maybe it was all but a façade. I do not know.
You know Gochi, I remember how we used to sit like that for hours. When words were not necessary and when your eyes would invite me to the journeys of my lifetime. It is so distant now. It is in the past. Sometimes I walk by the places that we used to walk together. I search for you knowing perfectly well that you are not there. Call me delusional or naïve but this is what makes this story so interesting. Hoping that everything is going to work out even if it will not.
This boy knows that she will not be his. She has found her calling. Success. She thinks about it 24/7. She thinks that success will solve all her problems and answer all her questions. She is not at the phase where success brings double the amount of each. (Problems and questions.)
This boy knows that he is showing something so openly that it scares her. She is not ready to lose him yet. But if he keeps on going towards her, she will slip away like a quality soap. The one that you dare not to grab with both of your hands.
This boy is so similar to who I was 10 years ago. Stupid and not ready to accept the harsh realities of life. He is controlled by his chemical elements. He is a piece of magnet for God’s sake. Can he be blamed for his act of going towards another piece.
Oh Gochi, you should see how they seat and gravitate towards each other. How beautiful it is to see what has not been labeled yet into something that writers will write about. Their eyes and feet stare at each other almost symmetrically.
I need to continue my communication skills session with other teens. Talking about other teens. There is one girl who gave her heart to a “bear”. Bear who knows nothing about mercy has approached her heart (for him it looked like a fruit). She held onto it until it was ripped out. She noticed how her hand, arm and entire body was gone. Just like this bear which disappeared into dark forest in the hopes to find other pray. Her eyes are so empty at times. I see no light in them. She gave up on life and she lives in the past. The past although painful is the only place where she can see that bear and speak to him.
She does not resent him. She is such a child.
My sessions are not sessions anymore. They are therapy sessions where I get to see and hear love in its different shades. But I also get to reflect on my own understanding of it.
Do you still love anything about us two?
Is there a single memory or moment that you hold on to when things comeback at you with the speed of light? When you are back in the plaza and you sit on the opposite side of the table as a piece of magnet or as a swan.
Do you still think about us two or us two is no longer a duo?
I wish you could reply and set me free. Because I do not want to sit like this boy until he is 11th grade and say goodbye to the love of his life. Because from the way he is one can truly claim that. Will this girl find her success and peace?
Time will show. If not to us the readers but to those next generations of them that will read these letters. I believe in that Gochi. I do.
